TROUBLE AND LOVE: WHEN A WOMAN GOES COLD

http://youtu.be/ZbE_NyyRDQs

I could forgive you, even your cruelty, if it were not for your calm.” ― G.K. Chesterton, The Man Who Was Thursday

“You overrate my capacity of love. I don't possess half the warmth of nature you believe me to have. An unprotected childhood in a cold world has beaten gentleness out of me.” ― Thomas Hardy, Far from the Madding Crowd

I said to her, “Even though you knew you were getting a divorce, that it was over, wasnʼt there love left in your heart for him?” She said, “No. None at all.” I said, “ After 25 years of marriage? Two and a half decades of sharing a bed, a home, a life, two children? There was no love in your heart for him at all?” She said, “None. I was done with him. I felt nothing. It was over. That is all.”

Seems as though women have a switch in their hearts, and when it switches off, thereʼs nothing that can be done. What was once warm becomes cold, what was once tender become callous. The switch does not time travel backwards or forwards and cannot be undone. Time has no effect on it. The enormity of the change in temperature is bewildering at first, hard to believe. After initial confusion, amazement bubbles up. Awe. Then the inevitable despair, sorrow and surrender to the new reality. Where once was love: spiders and dust. Where once was connection: ice and chill. This is what happens When a Woman Goes Cold.

This song is a co-write with Gretchen Peters.

Lead Vocal, Acoustic Guitar - Mary Gauthier Electric Guitar - Guthrie Trapp Upright Bass - Viktor Krauss Drums - Lynn Williams Hammond - Jimmy Wallace

Produced by Mary Gauthier and Patrick Granado ©2014 Mary Gauthier/In the Black Records

LYRICS: WHEN A WOMAN GOES COLD

She didn’t get mad, she didn’t even cry She lit a cigarette and said goodbye I must a’ missed a sign, I missed a turn somewhere I looked in her eyes, I saw a stranger there

It’s the way she’s made it’s a natural fact Once she’s really gone, she can’t come back Ain’t no wedding dress ain’t no band of gold Gonna keep her there, when a woman goes cold

You’re no longer her concern Scorched earth cannot burn It’s out of your control when a woman goes cold She won’t give an inch she won’t be convinced Ain’t no mercy in her soul when a woman goes cold

I wish she’d scream and shout, I wish she’d slam a door I wish she’d curse my name like she’s done before But she looks through me like I’m not there And I’m dying here, and she just don’t care

You’re no longer her concern Scorched earth cannot burn It’s out of your control when a woman goes cold She won’t give an inch she won’t be convinced Ain’t no mercy in her soul when a woman goes cold When a woman goes cold, when a woman goes cold When a woman goes cold when a woman goes cold

©2013 Mary Gauthier/Gretchen Peters

TROUBLE AND LOVE: FALSE FROM TRUE

http://youtu.be/FtPvJQw07_8  

My mama used to say “Your father has me so confused that I don’t know my ass from my elbow." When I was a kid, I didn’t know what she was trying to tell me. Today, it makes perfect sense.

Intense emotion piled on top of intense emotion over time… leads to utter confusion. My parent’s marriage was a roller coaster ride that ended in divorce after 20 turbulent years, and the turmoil involved in its slow demise ended up leaving us all discombobulated. Clarity came, but it took years.The battles of human love going bad -- the fog of war-- layers of shifting emotional sands, leave the mind in disarray. We end up upside down, spinning round, reaching for what was just there and is now nowhere to be found.What’s real now? What’s not? Who am I? Who are you? What were we? What are we now? In the thick of it, these are unanswerable questions. 'Till the roller coaster stops and till the dust clears, you just can’t tell False From True.

This song is a co-write with my good friend, Beth Nielsen Chapman.

Lead Vocal, Acoustic Guitar - Mary Gauthier Acoustic Guitar, Electric Guitar - Guthrie Trapp Upright Bass - Viktor Krauss Drums - Lynn Williams Piano, Hammond - Jimmy Wallace Background Vocals - Beth Nielsen Chapman

Produced by Mary Gauthier and Patrick Granado ©2014 Mary Gauthier/In the Black Records

LYRICS: FALSE FROM TRUE

Jagged edges broken parts Where you end and where I start Got so tangled up in you I can’t tell false from true You woke up inside a cage I woke up consumed with rage A million miles from our first kiss How does love turn into this?

A stranger showed up in your eyes Hard as steel, cold as ice I tried and tried but I could not break through There’s two of you and one don’t feel And I don’t know which one is real Loving you has left me black and blue I can’t tell false from true

Where’d you go where are you now? Can you feel my heart somehow? Still so full of love you But it can’t tell false from true

A stranger showed up in your eyes Hard as steel, cold as ice I tried and tried but I could not break through There’s two of you and one don’t feel And I don’t know which one is real Loving you has left me black and blue I can’t tell false from true I can’t tell false from true

©2013 Mary Gauthier/Beth Nielsen Chapman

TROUBLE AND LOVE: TROUBLE AND LOVE

http://youtu.be/5_vzGnX60eY Some things go together naturally. There is inevitability in their coupling. Things like beans and rice, peanut butter and jelly, salt and pepper, wine and cheese, bread and butter. Cake and icing, syrup and pancakes, peaches and cream, sugar and spice. Bacon and eggs, spaghetti and meatballs, salt and pepper, fish and chips, corned beef and cabbage, macaroni and cheese. Chips and salsa, cereal and milk. Thunder and lightening, fire and rain. Ebony and ivory, fork and knife, nuts and bolts. Lock and key, brush and comb, silver and gold. Spring and rain. Rock and roll, fire and brimstone. Moon and stars. And for all the obvious reasons...

Trouble and Love

This song is a co-write with my good pal, Scott Nolan.

Lead Vocal, Acoustic Guitar - Mary Gauthier Acoustic Guitar, Electric Guitar - Guthrie Trapp Upright Bass - Viktor Krauss Drums - Lynn Williams Piano, Hammond - Jimmy Wallace Background Vocals - Ashley Cleveland, Darrell Scott and Beth Nielsen Chapman

Produced by Mary Gauthier and Patrick Granado ©2014 Mary Gauthier/In the Black Records

LYRICS: TROUBLE AND LOVE

At the Downtowner, near the Roosevelt Baths Forty-eight fifty if you pay in cash Spanish television up through the floor Desk clerk don’t look up when I walk by anymore

Blizzard outside, blizzard in her heart Lonely travelers and cheap motel art Snow is falling on snow that fell on snow I said hold on baby please don’t let go

Trying to catch my breath, she moved so fast Rumble strips, red lights, broken glass Twisted steel, sirens, and blood Love and trouble, trouble and love

A head full of dreams, a chest full of hurt Friends say walk on; it’s more trouble than it’s worth But my will is gone and my head hangs low It ain’t the leaving, it’s the way you go

Trying to catch my breath, she moved so fast Rumble strips, red lights, broken glass Twisted steel, sirens, and blood Love and trouble, trouble and love Love and trouble, trouble and love Love and trouble, trouble and love Love and trouble, trouble and love

©2013 Mary Gauthier/Scott Nolan

TROUBLE AND LOVE: OH SOUL

http://youtu.be/ioRWWfd_Q4w Did Robert Johnson, King of the Delta Blues Singers who died at age 27, really sell his soul to the devil at the Crossroads? And did Satin come to collect his debt? What does it mean to sell your soul? Can you actually, literally, sell your soul? Robert Johnson played street corners and juke joints. He was ever roaming and ever lonely. He wrote songs that romanticized the traveling life and became a musical hero to musicians who followed in his footsteps. With unprecedented intensity, he transformed his life’s hardships into poetic heights- and mined deep emotional depths. He made beauty out of pain. Johnson took the intense loneliness, terrors and tortuous circumstances that came with being an African-American in the South in the Depression, and transformed his personal experience into music of universal relevance. If anyone would understand the sorrow of selling one’s soul, it would be Robert Johnson. So a visit to his grave, searching for redemption, in solidarity and prayer, in hopes of connecting with the spirit of a fellow traveller during a hard time, a time of deep questioning, well, it just makes sense…

This song is a co-write with my very talented singer/songwriter friend, Ben Glover.

Lead Vocal, Acoustic Guitar - Mary Gauthier Electric Guitar - Guthrie Trapp Upright Bass - Viktor Krauss Drums - Lynn Williams Piano - Jimmy Wallace

Produced by Mary Gauthier and Patrick Granado ©2014 Mary Gauthier/In the Black Records

 LYRICS: OH SOUL 

Black clouds blowing ‘cross a blustery sky Black clouds blowing ‘cross a blustery sky South of Highway 7 all alone crying Oh soul I sold you away

When you sell your soul it opens a deep dark hole When you sell your soul it opens a deep dark hole Drink ‘ll leave you thirsty fire ’ll leave you cold Oh soul I sold you away

Oh my soul I sold you away oh my soul I sold you away Oh my soul I sold you away oh soul I sold you away

It started with desires sweet soft kiss It started with desires sweet soft kiss Ended in an alley with my face against a fist Oh soul I sold you away

Oh my soul I sold you away oh my soul I sold you away Oh my soul I sold you away oh soul I sold you away

Redemption, redemption have mercy on me Redemption, redemption have mercy on me A body’s but a prison when the soul’s a refugee Oh soul I sold you away

I’m pulling into Greenwood to get down on my knees Pulling into Greenwood to get down on my knees By Robert Johnson’s grave pray my soul back to me Oh soul I sold you away

Oh my soul I sold you away oh my soul I sold you away Oh my soul I sold you away oh soul I sold you away

©2013 Mary Gauthier/Ben Glover

TROUBLE AND LOVE: WORTHY

http://youtu.be/jhXeMPzTdjkI’ve always been drawn to the metaphor of the Phoenix rising, because it brings with it a blessed grace, a new kindness, a new sense of purpose, and a passionate self worth. The new bird is on a mission. From the ashes of a perfect defeat comes a new life. Fire, death, renewal, rebirth and the beginning of a new life-- ashes into flame. But how does a Phoenix rising from the ashes find its wings? What is the process by which deep and mighty blows deepen us, open us, make us better people? How does calamity and deep pain create deep empathy? These are big questions, and I am not the one to answer them here. It is a mystery, this sacred conversion of one form of life energy into another. But I know this-- a fundamental change in character, transformation, can happen after annihilation of life as we knew it. On the other side of wretched: Worthy.

This song is a co-write with my dear, multi-talented friend, Beth Nielsen Chapman.

Lead Vocal, Acoustic Guitar - Mary Gauthier Electric Guitar - Guthrie Trapp Upright Bass - Viktor Krauss Drums - Lynn Williams Piano - Jimmy Wallace Slide Guitar - Darrell Scott Background Vocals - Darrell Scott and Beth Nielsen Chapman

Produced by Mary Gauthier and Patrick Granado ©2014 Mary Gauthier/In the Black Records

LYRICS: WORTHY

It took a mighty blow to crack me to the core To finally come to know I could ask for more I’ve wondered all my life, why I felt so alone Trying to survive, how could I have known?

Worthy, worthy, what a thing to claim Worthy, worthy ashes into flame Worthy

Left stumbling in the dark, I had to go within So I traced my scars, back to where I’d been A diamond in the dirt, perfectly concealed Down beneath the hurt, it’s been so hard to feel

Worthy, worthy, what a thing to claim Worthy, worthy ashes into flame Worthy

I walked through a wall of fire Left behind the only life I knew No way back, no place to hide When a voice came through

Worthy, worthy, what a thing to claim Worthy, worthy ashes into flame Worthy

©2013 Mary Gauthier/Beth Nielsen Chapman

TROUBLE AND LOVE: WALKING EACH OTHER HOME

http://youtu.be/-clukLFabq8 When the first shadows start to fall at the end of the day, when the early stars begin to twinkle, in that tiny window between daylight and dark when the cicadas and crickets start to sing, my heart can get a little heavy. Something deep inside my chest sinks, but then, a moment later, something else rises. I’ve never really been able to nail down the exact words but sorrow/hope comes close. As I let go of the day and lean into the night, there’s shift that moves from sadness to a certain kind of faith, an embracing of the night, trusting in the hand that guides what’s next. If I stay still and listen, these thoughts and feelings can lead to a conscious realization of my mortality, and an awareness of those souls who have passed on. We are here for only a short while, and what if our journey in this life is about learning to give and receive love?

What if our struggle with love is the way, the only way… we learn to love better? If you believe that your soul is traveling through this world but bound for elsewhere, if you believe that maybe we are called to be more than strangers fighting for our own survival, if you believe that just as others have mattered to you, you might in turn matter to others no matter the struggles you’ve had, then maybe you’ll agree that we are all just Walking Each Other Home.

Walking Each Other Home, was written with my good friend Gretchen Peters, and is one of three collaborations with Gretchen on this album.

Lead Vocal, Acoustic Guitar - Mary Gauthier Electric Guitar - Guthrie Trapp Upright Bass - Viktor Krauss Drums - Lynn Williams Piano - Jimmy Wallace Background Vocals - Ashley Cleveland, Darrell Scott and the McCrary Sisters

Produced by Mary Gauthier and Patrick Granado ©2014 Mary Gauthier/In the Black Records

LYRICS: WALKING EACH OTHER HOME

I’m just now getting round to letting go But you had your suitcase packed a long time ago The road got rough and you got ahead of me I tried to pull you back, now I know you had to leave

We put each other through a world of hurt Maybe that’s the way it is on this side of the dirt Nobody wants to be alone I hope you’re happy now, I heard you found someone

I don’t know how this story’s supposed to go I don’t know a lot of things that other people know But it ain’t about the money, ain’t about who’s right or wrong We’re all just walking each other home

Somewhere between Cain and Able, that’s where we live It’s only human to take more than you give To reach for a fix to fill you up Take away the pain oh but that’s not love

I don’t know how this story’s supposed to go I don’t know a lot of things that other people know It ain’t about the money ain’t about who’s right or wrong We’re all just walking each other home

Ain’t for me to say what’s bad or good In the end I know we did the best we could

I don’t know how this story’s supposed to go I don’t know a lot of things that other people know It ain’t about the money ain’t about who’s right or wrong We’re all just walking each other home

©2013 Mary Gauthier/Gretchen Peters

TROUBLE AND LOVE: HOW YOU LEARN TO LIVE ALONE

http://youtu.be/yXU69P6neJI

One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.  - Carl Jung

After years of being taught that the way to deal with painful emotions is to get rid of them, it can take a lot of re-schooling to learn to sit with them instead. But learning how to live alone, sitting with difficult feelings is like panning for gold. Those who have slept in the wilderness know things that those who sleep in comfortable houses may never know. This song is about learning how to sleep in the wilderness.

I wrote this with my friend Gretchen Peters, and it contains a long list of firsts. It was our first co-write, it was Buddy Miller’s first placement as Music Supervisor for the ABC TV Hit Show Nashville, it was the first song of Nashville’s Season 2, and it was my first time to work in the studio with the Legendary Master of Twang, Duane Eddy. All in all, it’s been a magical little song. We wrote it in a very short period of time, I’d say less than 2 hours. It came fast, and I am not sure how we did it. This is always how it goes with songs like this, I forget writing them. It almost like it happened in a dream. I remember Gretchen sitting at her little red piano working on a melody. I remember her saying maybe we should do a list, “First you fall, then you”…. and so on, and the rest is a blur. Lines came to me, lines came to her, and we rode the flow. We emerged with this song in short period of time, did a rough demo, and the rest is history.

Lead Vocal, Acoustic Guitar - Mary Gauthier Electric Guitar - Guthrie Trapp Upright Bass - Viktor Krauss Drums - Lynn Williams Piano - Jimmy Wallace Harmonium - Darrell Scott Background Vocals - Darrell Scott and Beth Nielsen Chapman, McCrary Sisters Electric Guitar Solo - Special thanks to the legendary Duane Eddy, the eternal master of Twang

Produced by Mary Gauthier and Patrick Granado ©2014 Mary Gauthier/In the Black Records

LYRICS: HOW YOU LEARN TO LIVE ALONE

First you fall then you fly And you believe that you belong up in the sky Flap your arms as you run, every revolution Brings you closer to the sun You fall asleep in motion in uncharted hemispheres And wake up with the stars falling down around your ears When they hit the ground they’re nothing but stones That’s how you learn to live alone That’s how you learn to live alone

Bit by bit, you slip away You loose yourself in pieces in the things that you don’t say You’re not here, but you’re still there The sun goes up, the sun goes down And you’re not sure you care You live inside the false, till you don’t recognize the true People send you pictures, and you can’t believe it’s you It’s been years since your house has felt like home That’s how you learn to live alone That’s how you learn to live alone

It don’t feel right, but it’s not wrong It’s just hard to start again this far along Brick by brick, the letting go As you walk away from everything you know You release resistance, lean into the wind Till the roof begins to crumble and the rain comes pouring in And you sit there in the rubble, till the rubble feels like home That’s how you learn to live alone That’s how you learn to live alone That’s how you learn to live alone

©2013 Mary Gauthier/Gretchen Peters

TROUBLE AND LOVE: ANOTHER TRAIN

http://youtu.be/iGL1HG1qq7c Another Train (Mary Gauthier/Ben Glover)

Another Train, the final song on Trouble and Love, is co-written by Ben Glover. It is a song of hope, of faith, of affirmation of life’s renewals and rebirths. On the other side of betrayal, on the other side of hurt, on the other side of sorrow, sits the train station. And headed for the station, is another train. May we all find our way there somehow, and catch that next train.

And so it is. Another record of songs I’ve written in an attempt to make sense of a few of life’s mysteries, an attempt to capture lightening in a bottle. This time, though, it was a “we” project from the very first song written. This record was the most collaborative of my career, every single song a co-write: each track recorded live-to-tape by my collaborator and friend the brilliant engineer/producer Patrick Granado, who selected the band and the songs and brought the best players in Nashville to the recording studio to cut them. The musicians played and sang their beautiful hearts out.

This record has my name on it, and I will be given the credit or blame for its contents…but truly, it’s the work of a collective, a group of highly talented and creative people that I deeply respect, all friends, all masters of their art, all at the height of their powers. It was a thrill to work with each and every one of them, and I encourage listeners to search out these names on the credits of this CD.

Lead Vocal. Acoustic Guitar - Mary Gauthier Electric Guitar - Guthrie Trapp Upright Bass - Viktor Krauss Drums - Lynn Williams Piano - Jimmy Wallace Background Vocals - Darrell Scott and Beth Nielsen Chapman, Siobhan Kennedy

Produced by Mary Gauthier and Patrick Granado ©2014 Mary Gauthier/In the Black Records

LYRICS: ANOTHER TRAIN

Got me an apartment on the East Side 1411 13th Street I walk on the tracks by the Cumberland River Over the bridge past lovers leap

I’m holding on Through the pain Through the pain Waiting on another train Another train

Tore a hole in the pocket Of the jacket you bought me In that thrift store in Camden Town Behind the station You wrapped my arms around me You built me up, and tore me down

I’m holding on Through the pain Through the pain Waiting on another train Another train

December sunset I can see my breath Disappear into the cold winter night Bums gathering driftwood Down by the river Whistle blows a lonesome cry

I’m holding on Through the pain Through the pain Waiting on another train Another train

©2103 Mary Gauthier/Ben Glover

Video from The Grand Old Opry, Another Train LIVE

LIVE, from Nashville, Tennessee on a very good night. Here it is, the Grand Old Opry video with Randy Foster, Kathy Mattea, and Marty Stuart, as well as the fantastic Opry Band!

Grand Ole Night at the Grand Ole Opry

I played The Grand Ole Opry. Yes indeed, I sure did. It was a thrill, and honour, and an amazing emotional ride into the stratosphere. I started with "Mercy Now," and the amazing Opry House Band played and sang with me. Then we kicked into "Another Train" from my new record, with Radney Foster, Kathy Mattea and Marty Stuart joining me on stage. We all hit a lick, became one in song, the genie came out of the bottle, and magic happened. The audience felt it, and when the song ended, they stood up out of their seats and went a little nuts. I looked up and out at the standing ovation and all I could do was shake my head, hug my friends, and thank the heavens that I managed to live long enough to see this happen. On a lot of levels, it was dreamlike.Thanks goodness there’s pictures, 'cause it actually feels like a dream. A HUGE thank you to Marty Stuart, whose generosity and kindness made this opportunity possible. Sometimes, life is just a whole lot of fun!

Trouble and Love

Hello Everyone! I’ve officially kicked off the preview tour for my new release on Proper Records UK, and am in Europe right now doing interviews, shows, and teaching a songwriting workshop in Glasgow.

I started off in London, Camden and am now in Scotland where I got to perform in Paisley Abby—what a place to sing! It’s 850 years old, and has somehow survived that many years of human turmoil. I could not stop thinking about the thousands of WWI and WWII widows and children on their knees in that ancient Kirk. And those that came before them. 850 years of spook on top of spook on top of spook. I felt them in the resonance of the echoes at the end of each song. Thanks, Glasgow, for having me and to Paul Brady for letting me share the stage.

Pre-Order The New CD

My new record is called Trouble and Love, and will be in stores June 10. I’m offering signed pre-orders HERE, and they will be mailed in early June, before the record hits the streets. I co-produced this one myself with the brilliant engineer Patrick Granado, and I am very proud of this collection of songs. It's the best work I have done so far, I think.

I’m working with smart folks all over the world to make this record a success, and we’re having fun in the process. I will be posting a Lyric video of each of the 8 songs every Monday, so look for an email with a link each week starting April 21!

The Letter Series

CD Baby asked me to write the first letter for their “Letter Series,” which is based on Rainer Maria Rilke’s brilliant Letters To A Young Poet. I was honored to do so. Here’s what I came up with: Mary Gauthier’s Letter To A Young Songwriter.

April 19 is Record Store Day

I have teamed up with my friend Sam Baker for record store day, and we are splitting a 7-inch single, with very limited pressing. Sam’s song is on one side, mine on the other. My song is called “When A Woman Goes Cold,” and it’s the first cut off my new record.

You can pick one up at your local record store, or at CD Baby.com on April 19.^. But you need a real record player to play it! Visit the Record Store Day website to find a store near you.

Big Shows in L.A. & Zip Code Update

I’ll be performing at The Grammy Museum in Los Angeles on April 21. Hurry up and get tickets on these if you want to go, because it will sell out.

 Songwriting Workshop Update

My first Nashville Performing Songwriter Creative Workshop took place in February.

A huge thank you to the 20 students who came and shared themselves and their songs in my inaugural workshop. We had a jam-packed weekend as Lydia Hutchinson and I tried to balance showing off some of the people and places that make Nashville great, with deep intense song work. We kicked off the workshop with a pre Mardi Gras gathering to break the ice on Thursday Night. I made some Jambalaya and Jalapeno Cornbread, Lydia brought a Kings Cake and Mardi Gras beads, and we all spent a little time together before the workshop got started the following morning.

We started the first day bright and early working on students’ songs. The brilliant Don Henry helped me out in the afternoon, and then we ended the night at The Bluebird watching the great Don Schlitz weave his magic. Day two was spent working on songs and Gretchen Peters joined us as a guest speaker that afternoon before we all headed to dinner at Monell’s, one of my favorite Nashville family-style restaurants.

Sunday we worked even harder on songs and I tried to give the class as many tools for their writing tool kit as I had time to offer. We wrapped it up right before an ice storm with thunder sleet made the roads impassable—so some of our group ended up staying extra days and using it as a writing retreat.

My partnership with Performing Songwriter’s event guru Lydia Hutchinson will continue with another workshop in a couple of weeks. It’s sold out, but be sure to SIGN UP HERE if you want to be the first to know about any new upcoming events.

Check out the photo gallery from our workshop.

Thanks and look forward to seeing you on the road!

—Mary

February 2014 Songwriting Workshop

Photos from the Mary's "Performing Songwriter Creative Workshop" in Nashville — February, 2014.